Headline: CANCER HAS BEEN CURED!

Young Again.org

Headline: CANCER HAS BEEN CURED!

- Roger Mason

Thank God folks, the HSI (Horse Sh*t Institute) has just announced the cure for cancer. If you don't know about the HSI please go to our free library and look up “The Horse Sh*t Institute”. For a good laugh please go to www.hsibaltimore.com. You will find Miracle Cures for everything. “Conquer diabetes and slash your blood sugar as much as 54% by eating eggs, pizza, and brownies!” No, I didn't make that up. Seriously- they said that. They really said that folks.

If you or a loved one has cancer you don't have to bother changing your diet and giving up junk food. You don't have to take a bunch of supplements. You don't have to worry about your hormone levels either. And please don't bother exercising, fasting, or kicking that coffee/alcohol/cigarette/recreational drug habit.

You just have to take the Magic Supplement GRAVIOLA. That's all. Wash it down with an extra large milk shake and Monster Thickburger®.

Isn't this great? We finally have a cure for cancer. Certainly you'll see this in the headlines and the 6:00 news any day now, as well as the cover of Time magazine.

If you want details please go directly to the Horse Sh*t Institute website. Jenny Thompson says that graviola is, “10,000 times more toxic to colon cancer cells than a common chemo drug,” and “lethal to 12 different kinds of malignant cells, especially those that cause lung, prostate and breast cancers.” There are many more stories of people curing their cancer by just taking Magical Graviola. She points out that this amazing discovery, “could change the face of medicine forever!” Please note that part about changing the face of medicine forever.

“Picture this. Scene: The Amazon. Act One: A drug company with a billion dollar bank account discovers two phytochemicals trapped in the seeds of a plant that grows here in the jungle. These naturally occurring chemicals literally destroy cancer cells, and without harming healthy cells. In fact, extracts from the same plant actually boost immunity! This mega-giant pharmaceutical company could not make a patentable analog (chemical alteration), so they hid their research away and locked it up. This incredible natural compound from the Amazon- called Graviola- would have stayed hidden forever if it hadn't been for one courageous researcher who “put his career on the line” as he couldn't bear to see this life saving discovery locked away. Everything he revealed was so profound, it may change the history of medicine as we know it!” Change the history of medicine! “Graviola is a dynamo when it comes to destroying cancerous cells.”

You want proof? Well, Daryl S. (he wants to hide his real identity for personal reasons you understand) had 20 malignant tumors around his prostate. First of all, he had his doctor destroy all his testosterone, because we all know Testosterone Is The Enemy and nobody should have this awful stuff in their body. He immediately started taking graviola and within two months his PSA plummeted to a perfectly normal 0.00. (Even dead men don't have 0.00 PSA levels, but why get technical with a great story like this?) Sonogram and gamma-ray tests showed that every prostate tumor had completely disappeared. Wow, what a story! Daryl S. didn't have to change his diet, take supplements, exercise or anything- just destroy all his testosterone and take some Magical Graviola!

Jenny says it is so rare and expensive and only grows in secret locations in the Amazon Basin where white people have never gone. Because of its' extreme rarity there is only one place in the United States where you can buy this Magical Herb. Jenny must be on both Prozac and Elavil.

I hate to tell you wonderful readers this, but we don't sell Magical Graviola. Strangely enough you can readily find it very inexpensively on the Internet from a wide variety of companies. One company offers 650 mg capsules (120 count) for just $12.95.

Well, if you want to cure your cancer just pay $12.95 and you don't have to do anything else. You don't have to give up red meat, poultry, eggs, dairy products, white flour, sugar, junk food, coffee, cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, or anything else.

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2007 Postscript: This article was written about three years ago and we're still
waiting for the face of medicine to be changed. Time magazine never did tell
the world cancer had been cured with graviola. HSI is still in business.